Dear Someone: The heart that never opens never knows what could have been.

Dear, Dear Someone, _

I see the invisible armour you wear, forged from the metal of multiple heartbreaks and tempered in the fire of repeated disappointments. Your declaration of "never again" echoes in the hollow spaces where hope used to live, and I understand why you've chosen to close the chapter on love altogether.

Each time you trusted, each time you opened your heart, each time you dared to believe "this one might be different," life seemed to have other plans. Now, your heart sits like a shuttered house, windows closed, doors locked, with a "No Visitors" sign hanging prominently on every entrance. I see how exhausted you are from the cycle of hope and hurt, trust and betrayal, beginning and ending.

The way you've withdrawn from the possibility of new connections isn't just caution – it's a testament to how deeply you've loved and lost. Your decision to remain single isn't just a choice – it's a survival strategy. But beloved, while I honor your pain and respect your protective instincts, I must speak truth into your fortress of solitude.

When the walls feel too high, climb higher. When past scars whisper caution, step closer. When your instincts say retreat, advance anyway. Playing it safe will leave you lonely. Don't guard your heart so fiercely that you suffocate its capacity to bloom. Don't let old wounds dictate new chapters.

Taking no chances will be your deepest regret. You have to risk vulnerability to find authenticity. You have to risk disappointment to find joy. You have to risk being seen to be understood. You have to risk the familiar to discover the extraordinary.

Look at how your protective walls have become your prison. Each brick laid with good intention, each layer built from experience, has slowly transformed into a fortress that keeps love out as effectively as it keeps pain at bay. But what is safety if it means solitude? What is protection if it means isolation?

Time and again, I've watched you retreat into the familiar comfort of your defenses. Like a turtle withdrawing into its shell at the first sign of danger, you've mastered the art of emotional self-preservation. But remember: shells can become coffins if we never dare to emerge.

Here's what fear doesn't tell you: every great love story began with someone being brave enough to be vulnerable. Every meaningful connection started with someone choosing to lower their guard. Every beautiful relationship bloomed because two people decided that the possibility of joy was worth the risk of pain.

Day after day, your heart beats a rhythm of possibility, even as your mind constructs barriers of protection. Listen closely to that heartbeat - it's not just keeping you alive, it's keeping alive the hope of connection, the dream of intimacy, the possibility of love that transcends your fears.

There's a certain tragedy in watching someone shield themselves so completely from hurt that they become unreachable to love. Like a garden wrapped in protective tarps, nothing harmful gets in, but nothing beautiful grows either. Your heart wasn't designed to be a fortress - it was meant to be a garden, where both flowers and weeds might grow, but where life flourishes nonetheless.

Remember this: the same walls that keep out pain also keep out purpose. The same barriers that protect you from heartbreak also prevent you from heart-growth. The same defenses that shield you from disappointment also block your blessings. You cannot selectively numb emotions - when you build walls against pain, you also wall out joy.

In the quiet moments when honesty prevails, ask yourself: What has your caution cost you? How many potential connections have withered before blooming? How many possibilities have died in the shadow of your fears? How many chapters of your story remain unwritten because you were too afraid to pick up the pen?

Sometimes I want to shake you gently and say: Your past heartbreaks were lessons, not life sentences. Let them teach you wisdom, not fear. Each disappointment, each betrayal, each moment of pain was not a stop sign but a yielding sign - slow down, learn, proceed with awareness, but proceed nonetheless.

Look at how life keeps offering you chances at connection, how love keeps knocking at your door, how opportunity continues to extend its hand. The universe isn't subtle in its message: you were made for more than self-preservation. You were created for connection, designed for love, built for relationship.

Think of your heart as a muscle - it grows stronger not through protection but through use. Each time you open it, each time you risk vulnerability, each time you choose trust over fear, you're not weakening your defenses - you're strengthening your capacity for love.

If you live defending against hurt, you're hurting your chance at love. The heart that never opens never knows what could have been. The soul that never trusts never experiences the miracle of being trusted. The spirit that never risks never witnesses the magic of reward.

With gentle urgency and loving concern,
Ali Papa.

P.S. Today, I challenge you to pick one wall to lower, one defense to soften, one risk to take. Start small if you must, but start. Because the life you dream of, the love you long for, the connections you crave - they all wait on the other side of your walls, ready to meet you halfway as soon as you dare to step forward.

—Thank you for taking the time to read my letters.

If you love this letter, you’ll love my books. They are written for you, to warm your heart and soul. They are written for broken hearts of all shapes and sizes. They are full of good things—everything I have been wanting to say to you and they are available for FREE download to all tribe members.

If you were unable to find yourself in today's letter, you don't have to worry. Tell me what you feel here, and I will write you a personal letter. The same God who can help you get by in life can also help you excel in life.

—Who is Ali Papa?

I'm a husband, father, friend, and merchant of faith, hope, and love, crafting heartfelt letters for every season and story. Writing to you is more than a hobby for me. It's a passion, a calling, and a way of life. I pour my heart and soul into every letter I send you, hoping to inspire you, inform you, heal with compassion, illuminate paths, instill courage, uplift spirits, spread positivity, and connect with sincerity.

My wish is that you continue to find the words that express your deepest and strongest emotions from them, regardless of the circumstances, and that you keep experiencing life, love, freedom, and fulfilment in your relationship. I live in Port Harcourt with my supportive wife and three adorable kids, who teach me the value of love every day.