Dear Someone: Your growth doesn't diminish your need for love
Read this if you've outgrown someone who can't see your worth, if you're moving forward while someone from your past remains stuck.
Dear, Dear Someone, _
You've transformed, blossomed into a version of yourself that's stronger, wiser, and more beautiful than ever. The journey has been long, and the growth evident. You've outgrown spaces, faces, and even loves that no longer serve you. Yet, here you are, wondering if your growth means you've left someone behind, or if it's okay to keep moving forward without them.
You've known each other for what feels like a lifetime. You've seen each other through joy and sorrow, triumph and failure. But while you've evolved, they've remained the same. Their stagnancy isn't your responsibility, just as your growth isn't their failure.
They see you as someone who no longer needs protection or help, someone who has outgrown them. And perhaps you have. Perhaps you've reached heights they're yet to climb, explored depths they're afraid to dive into. But remember, outgrowing doesn't mean you've outloved.
They reject your promise, not because you're unworthy, but because they're not ready. They're still a mess, still figuring things out. They see your growth and feel inadequate, feel like they're holding you back. And maybe they are. But that's their choice to make, not yours to bear.
You don't need them, not for validation, not for happiness, not for anything. You're whole as you are, complete in your growth. Their inability to keep up isn't a reflection of your worth - it's a reflection of their journey.
Nostalgia might tug at your heartstrings, make you want to wait, make you want to help. But remember, you can't force growth. They need to choose it, just like you did. You can't make them see your worth if they're not ready to open their eyes.
You deserve someone who sees your growth and celebrates it, someone who meets you where you are and wants to climb higher with you. You deserve someone who chooses you, who chases you, who matches your pace and not just your past.
Don't diminish your growth for the sake of someone else's comfort. Don't shrink yourself to fit their expectations. You've worked too hard, come too far, to go back now. Keep moving forward, keep chasing your dreams.
They might not choose you, and that's okay. Their rejection isn't your loss - it's theirs. They're missing out on the incredible person you've become, the amazing journey you're on. But you, you're not missing out on anything. You're gaining strength, gaining wisdom, gaining self-love.
You might feel like you're leaving them behind, but remember, they chose to stay. They chose to remain in their comfort zone while you dared to venture out. That's not your fault, not your burden to carry.
Your growth doesn't diminish your need for love. It amplifies it. It makes you crave deeper connections, healthier relationships, more profound love. And that's okay. That's more than okay - it's wonderful. It means you're ready for the real thing, ready for the love you truly deserve.
So, keep growing. Keep moving forward. Keep chasing your dreams. And know that the right person will meet you there, will see your growth and love you all the more for it.
With love and encouragement,
—Ali Papa.
Author of Letters of Woe​ and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter​
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer
P.S. — Years from now, you'll look back at this moment and understand that your growth wasn't the end of something, but the beginning. The people who couldn't keep up weren't meant to stay. They were stepping stones, lessons learned, chapters closed. Keep your heart open - not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay forever. Some come to teach you, to challenge you, to help you grow. Trust the timing of your life. Trust that your capacity to love deeply isn't a flaw but a gift. And most importantly, trust that you're not losing - you're learning, growing, and becoming exactly who you need to be for the connections that truly deserve you.
P.S.S. — Embrace your growth journey with Reliable Anchors - your guide to trusting the natural cycles of your healing and understanding life's patterns. Every letter helps you navigate the complexities of outgrowing people while moving forward with love and grace, showing you that your growth doesn't diminish your need for love, but amplifies it. Through the ups and downs of relationships, every page reminds you that you're not losing, but learning, growing, and becoming as you learn to trust the process and yourself.
P.S.S.S. — If you’re still searching for your reflection in these words, if you’re feeling unseen or unheard, don’t worry—your unspoken words matter more than you know. Let me write you a personal letter - one that speaks directly to your heart. Click here and share your story with me. In the quiet space between your words and my understanding, we'll create something sacred together. Each letter is crafted with care, written just for you, and completely FREE.
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