Dear Someone: You deserve to be with someone whose actions shout their love for you, even in moments of silence.

Read this if you're struggling to reconcile someone's words with their actions, and you're feeling confused, hurt, and unsure about the true nature of your relationship.

Dear, Dear Someone, _

The human heart is a complex instrument, capable of great love and equally great confusion. When the melody of someone's words doesn't harmonize with the rhythm of their actions, it creates a dissonance that can leave us feeling lost and bewildered.

You're here because you've found yourself in a place where words and actions don't align. Perhaps you've been told "I love you" while being treated with indifference. Maybe you've heard promises of change, only to witness the same hurtful behaviors repeating themselves. Or possibly, you've been assured of your importance in someone's life, yet you constantly feel like an afterthought.

This disconnection between words and actions can be deeply unsettling. It's like trying to solve a puzzle where the pieces don't quite fit, leaving you questioning your own perceptions and doubting your worth. But remember, your feelings are valid, and your instincts deserve to be honored.

In the tapestry of human relationships, actions are the vibrant threads that weave the true picture of how someone feels about us. Words can be beautiful, but they are often fleeting – whispers in the wind that can change direction with ease. Actions, on the other hand, are the steady current that reveals the true course of someone's feelings.

When someone's actions consistently fail to match their words, it's not just disappointing – it's a form of emotional manipulation. Whether intentional or not, this discrepancy can keep you in a state of constant uncertainty, always hoping for better, always waiting for the actions to catch up with the promises.

But here's a truth that might be hard to swallow: How someone treats you is a direct reflection of how they feel about you. It's not about what they say when things are good, or the grand gestures they make to win you back after a fight. It's about the day-to-day, moment-to-moment choices they make in how they interact with you, prioritize you, and respect your feelings and boundaries.

If someone consistently treats you as an afterthought, that's because, in their mind, you are an afterthought. If they repeatedly break promises or disregard your feelings, that's because your trust and emotional well-being are not their priority. If they shower you with affection only when it serves their purposes, that's because their love is conditional.

This realization can be painful, but it's also incredibly liberating. It frees you from the mental gymnastics of trying to justify someone's behavior or make excuses for their shortcomings. It allows you to see the situation for what it truly is, rather than what you wish it could be.

But why do we often cling to words even when actions tell a different story? It's because words have power. They can soothe our insecurities, fuel our hopes, and paint a picture of the relationship we desire. When someone tells us what we want to hear, it's tempting to believe them, even in the face of contradictory evidence.

Moreover, accepting that someone's actions reveal their true feelings can be scary. It might mean acknowledging that a relationship we've invested in isn't what we thought it was. It might mean facing the prospect of being alone. It might mean admitting that we've allowed ourselves to be treated in ways that don't align with our self-worth.

But here's the thing: You deserve better. You deserve a relationship where words and actions align, where promises are kept, and where your worth is recognized not just in moments of convenience, but consistently, even when it's challenging.

So, how do you move forward from here?

1. Trust your instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Your intuition is a powerful tool – learn to listen to it.

2. Observe patterns: Look for consistency in behavior over time. Anyone can have a bad day, but persistent patterns reveal true priorities.

3. Set clear boundaries: Communicate your expectations clearly and observe how they're received and respected (or not).

4. Value actions over words: While kind words are important, they should be backed up by consistent, supportive actions.

5. Seek balance: A healthy relationship should have a good balance of both positive words and actions.

6. Prioritize self-respect: Remember that how you allow others to treat you sets the standard for your relationships.

7. Be honest with yourself: It can be hard to admit when someone we care about isn't treating us well. But honesty with yourself is the first step towards positive change.

8. Seek support: Confide in trusted friends or a therapist. Sometimes an outside perspective can provide valuable clarity.

9. Know your worth: Remember that you deserve to be valued, respected, and treated with kindness – not just in words, but in actions too.

10. Be willing to walk away: If someone consistently shows through their actions that they don't value you, be prepared to leave the relationship, no matter how difficult it might seem.

Remember, seeking alignment between words and actions isn't about perfection. We're all human, and we all make mistakes. But in a healthy relationship, there should be a consistent effort to ensure that actions support words, and when they don't, there should be accountability and a genuine attempt to do better.

You might be wondering, "But what if they really do love me, and they're just struggling to show it?" It's a fair question, but consider this: True love, respect, and care are not just feelings – they're choices we make every day in how we treat others. If someone truly values you, they will make the choice to show it, even when it's difficult.

As you navigate this challenging terrain, be gentle with yourself. It's okay to feel confused, hurt, or angry. It's okay to miss the potential of what could have been. But don't let these feelings keep you tethered to a situation that diminishes your worth.

You are deserving of a love that doesn't just speak sweetly, but acts kindly. You are worthy of a relationship where you don't have to constantly question where you stand. You deserve to be with someone whose actions shout their love for you, even in moments of silence.

So, dear someone, as you stand at this crossroads, I urge you to choose yourself. Choose to believe what people show you through their actions. Choose to prioritize your emotional well-being. Choose to walk away from relationships that leave you constantly questioning your worth.

The journey ahead might not be easy, but it will lead you towards authenticity, self-respect, and eventually, to relationships that honor both your heart and your worth. Trust in your ability to navigate this path. Believe in your strength to choose what's best for you, even when it's difficult.

Your heart deserves to be in harmony – where the melody of words and the rhythm of actions create a beautiful symphony of love and respect.

With faith in your journey and hope for your future,
—Ali Papa.

P.S.— Remember, you are not asking for too much by expecting actions to match words. You are simply asking for honesty, respect, and authenticity – the cornerstones of any healthy relationship.

Years from now, when you look back at this moment in your life, let it be remembered not as a time of confusion and hurt, but as the turning point where you chose clarity over chaos, truth over wishful thinking, and self-respect over empty promises.

Think of relationships like a dance - it takes both partners moving in sync to create something beautiful. When one person's steps (their words) don't match their rhythm (their actions), the dance becomes a struggle, leaving you constantly trying to find your balance.

The right partner won't have you questioning the choreography of their love. They won't leave you analyzing their every move, trying to decipher mixed signals or justify inconsistencies. Instead, their actions will flow naturally with their words, creating a harmony that feels effortless and true.

Remember that love isn't meant to be a detective story where you're constantly searching for clues about how someone really feels. It's not supposed to be a puzzle where you piece together fragments of affection to create a complete picture. Real love is transparent, consistent, and evident in both grand gestures and quiet moments.

You're not unreasonable for wanting someone's actions to echo their promises. You're not needy for desiring a love that shows up not just in words, but in daily choices. You're not asking too much by expecting the person who claims to care about you to demonstrate that care consistently.

In the end, actions aren't just louder than words - they're more honest. They tell the story of how someone truly feels, what they genuinely value, and where their priorities truly lie. So when someone's actions repeatedly tell you a different story than their words, believe the story their actions are telling. It's usually the more honest one.

Trust that by choosing to value actions over empty words, you're not just protecting your heart - you're making space for the kind of love that won't require you to choose between what you hear and what you see. You're preparing yourself for a relationship where words and actions dance together in perfect harmony, creating the beautiful symphony of love you've always deserved.

Your heart knows the truth. Your instincts understand the language of actions. Trust them both to lead you toward the love that proves itself not just in beautiful words, but in consistent, caring choices that make you feel valued, respected, and cherished every single day.

—Thank you for taking the time to read my letters.

If you love this letter, you’ll love my books. They are written for you, to warm your heart and soul. They are written for broken hearts of all shapes and sizes. They are full of good things—everything I have been wanting to say to you and they are available for FREE download to all tribe members.

If you were unable to find yourself in today's letter, you don't have to worry. Tell me what you feel here, and I will write you a personal letter. The same God who can help you get by in life can also help you excel in life.

—Who is Ali Papa?

I'm a husband, father, friend, and merchant of faith, hope, and love, crafting heartfelt letters for every season and story. Writing to you is more than a hobby for me. It's a passion, a calling, and a way of life. I pour my heart and soul into every letter I send you, hoping to inspire you, inform you, heal with compassion, illuminate paths, instill courage, uplift spirits, spread positivity, and connect with sincerity.

My wish is that you continue to find the words that express your deepest and strongest emotions from them, regardless of the circumstances, and that you keep experiencing life, love, freedom, and fulfilment in your relationship. I live in Port Harcourt with my supportive wife and three adorable kids, who teach me the value of love every day.