Dear Someone: The wounds you carry were never yours to bear - release yourself from the prison of undeserved guilt.

If you've spent too long apologizing for existing, for taking up space, for feeling too much, or for circumstances that were never under your control, this letter shaped with your journey is for you.

Dear, Dear Someone, _

There's something I need you to understand about the weight you've been carrying. That constant urge to apologize for breathing too loudly, for feeling too deeply, for existing too prominently - it was never yours to bear. You've been shouldering blame for storms you didn't create, apologizing for rain you never summoned.

Every morning, you wake up with an inventory of sorries stored beneath your tongue, ready to spill them at the slightest provocation. You've turned yourself into a living apology, shrinking your presence until you could fit into the smallest corner of everyone else's comfort. But listen closely - the universe never asked you to make yourself smaller.

Your heart has become a collection box of guilt, storing away every moment someone made you feel like you were too much or not enough. You've been gathering these moments like heavy stones, carrying them in your pockets until walking became a burden. It's time to empty those pockets.

Remember when you were young, before the world taught you to apologize for your laughter, your tears, your dreams? That child knew something you've forgotten - that existing fully is not a crime that requires penance. That child never questioned their right to take up space in this vast world.

You apologize for storms that belonged to others, for earthquakes you didn't cause, for tsunamis that were brewing long before you arrived. You've become so accustomed to saying sorry that it's become your native language, your default response to life itself.

Let me tell you about the beauty of boundaries, about the strength in saying "This is not mine to carry." About the power in understanding that not every broken thing in your vicinity is your responsibility to fix. About the freedom in knowing that you don't have to be sorry for someone else's inability to handle their own emotions.

You've been collecting guilt like some collect stamps - methodically, carefully, storing away each instance where someone's pain touched your life. But darling, you are not responsible for the emotional weather patterns of others. You cannot control the storms that brew in other people's skies.

Their unresolved trauma is not your cross to bear. Their inability to process their own emotions is not your failure. Their unstable foundations are not your construction project. You were never meant to be anyone's emotional renovation team.

In the quiet moments, when you're alone with your thoughts, notice how many of your anxieties begin with "I should have" or "If only I had." Notice how many of your wounds are actually inherited guilt, passed down like unwanted heirlooms.

You don't need permission to stop apologizing for things that were never your fault. You don't need anyone's approval to put down the weight of other people's expectations. You don't need forgiveness for crimes you never committed.

Your empathy is not a weakness to be corrected. Your sensitivity is not a flaw to be fixed. Your ability to feel deeply is not a mistake that needs apologizing for. These are your superpowers, not your sins.

Stop apologizing for the space you occupy in this world. Stop apologizing for the air you breathe, the dreams you harbor, the love you have to give. Stop apologizing for being human, for being imperfect, for being gloriously, magnificently alive.

The guilt you carry was assigned to you by people who didn't know how to carry their own. It's time to return these borrowed burdens to their rightful owners. It's time to clear your ledger of debts you never truly owed.

Your worth is not measured by your ability to absorb other people's pain. Your value is not determined by how small you can make yourself to accommodate others' comfort. Your purpose is not to be a repository for everyone else's unprocessed emotions.

It's time to write a new story - one where you are not the villain, where your existence is not a reason for apology, where your presence is not a problem to be solved. It's time to remember that you were born complete, worthy, and free from the need to constantly apologize for taking up space in this world.

With fierce belief in your inherent worth,

—Ali Papa.

Author of Letters of Woe​ and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter​
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer

PS — Somewhere between all the unnecessary apologies and the weight of undeserved guilt, you forgot something essential - you are not the sum of other people's projections. The light within you doesn't need to dim itself to make others comfortable with their darkness. Release the apologies that don't belong to you, shed the guilt that was never yours to carry, and watch how much lighter you become. Your healing begins the moment you realize that not every broken thing in your path was broken by you, and therefore, not everything needs your apology or repair. Walk forward knowing that your existence is not an inconvenience - it's a gift, complete and unapologetic in its authenticity.

Here are a few relevant letters written with you in mind, for moments when your heart needs clarity, and when your soul longs for comfort to continue reading ↓