Dear Someone: The things you love don’t have to break you.
Read this if you feel like your love is a curse, if opening your heart has left you bruised and battered, or if you’ve begun to believe that everything you care for will inevitably destroy you.
Dear, Dear Someone, _
This letter is for you, who carries the weight of every heartbreak, every betrayal, every scar left behind by those you trusted. You, who have given your love so freely, only to watch it boomerang back with pain. You, who have started to wonder if love is the enemy, if caring too much is the reason you feel so broken.
I’m sorry for the times love hurt you. I’m sorry for the people who mishandled your heart, for the ones who took your kindness and turned it into a weapon against you. I’m sorry for the nights you spent crying over relationships that gave you more pain than peace. I’m sorry that the very things you cherished seemed to crumble in your hands.
But let me tell you something important: it’s not love itself that destroys. It’s not your capacity to care that leaves you scarred. It’s not your open heart that invites the pain. The hurt you’ve endured doesn’t mean you were wrong to love; it means you were brave enough to try.
You love deeply, and that is both your gift and your challenge. You let people in because you believe in connection, because you see potential, because you want to share the light you carry. But not everyone knows how to handle a love as pure and honest as yours. Some people, unknowingly or not, take more than they give. And some, lost in their own pain, can’t help but hurt the ones who try to heal them.
It’s not your fault. Read that again. It’s not your fault. The scars others left on your heart don’t mean you were foolish or weak. They mean you were willing to risk vulnerability in a world that often rewards it with indifference. They mean you believed in something bigger than yourself, even when it hurt to hold onto that belief.
But, dear someone, love isn’t meant to destroy you. It isn’t meant to feel like a battle every time. It isn’t meant to leave you questioning your worth or doubting your ability to trust. Love, at its core, is meant to uplift, to nurture, to sustain. And when it doesn’t, it’s not because you loved wrong—it’s because you loved someone who wasn’t ready to meet you where you stand.
You’ve been carrying the weight of those who couldn’t love you properly. You’ve been shouldering the blame for relationships that fell apart, for people who walked away, for trust that was betrayed. But it’s time to let go of that burden. It’s time to stop punishing yourself for the mistakes others made with your heart.
You’re not broken because you’ve been hurt. You’re not unworthy because people failed to see your value. You’re not destined to be destroyed by the things you love. What you are is resilient. What you are is someone who still has the courage to feel, to care, to invest in a world that has given you every reason to close off.
And that courage is your superpower. It’s what sets you apart in a world that often chooses apathy over vulnerability. It’s what makes you extraordinary. Because even after all the pain, all the loss, all the heartbreak, you’re still here. You’re still standing. You’re still willing to try.
But here’s the thing: you don’t have to keep giving yourself to people who don’t know how to hold you. You don’t have to keep loving things that break you. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to those who can’t see it. Love is not a test, and your heart is not a proving ground.
You’re allowed to be more selective with your love. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to walk away from anything or anyone that makes you feel less than whole. You’re allowed to protect the parts of yourself that are still healing.
And one day, you’ll find a love that doesn’t hurt. A love that doesn’t take more than it gives. A love that doesn’t leave scars but plants flowers in the places you thought were barren. A love that feels safe, steady, and true. But until then, let your first love be yourself.
Love yourself enough to stop chasing people who are running from themselves. Love yourself enough to stop pouring your energy into things that drain you dry. Love yourself enough to demand the kind of love that builds you up instead of breaking you down.
You’re not the sum of your heartbreaks. You’re not defined by the pain others have caused you. You are a mosaic of strength, resilience, and hope—a masterpiece created by all the times you refused to let the world make you hard.
So keep loving. Keep caring. Keep opening your heart. But do it for the people, the passions, and the places that make you feel alive—not the ones that leave you in pieces. Do it for yourself first, because you deserve a love that feels like home.
With unwavering faith in your healing and your heart,
—Ali Papa.
Author of Letters of Woe and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer
P.S. — One day, you’ll look back on all the things that broke your heart and realize they didn’t break you—they broke you open. They taught you where to set boundaries, how to recognize real love, and how to protect the sacred parts of yourself. And when that day comes, you’ll thank yourself for never giving up on love, even when it hurt. Trust that you’re growing into someone who will love and be loved in ways that don’t leave scars but create beauty.
P.S.S. — If you’re still searching for your reflection in these words, if you’re feeling unseen or unheard, don’t worry—your unspoken words matter more than you know. Let me write you a personal letter - one that speaks directly to your heart. Click here and share your story with me. In the quiet space between your words and my understanding, we'll create something sacred together. Each letter is crafted with care, written just for you, and completely FREE.
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