Dear Someone: Love doesn't have to feel like a battle between your heart and your safety

Read this if you're caught between staying and leaving or if you're wrestling with the paradox of loving someone while wondering if loving them is slowly destroying you.

Dear, Dear Someone, _

Last week marked eleven years since I finally walked away, but the memories still surface - the constant walking on eggshells, the subtle manipulations masked as love, the way I kept trying to shape myself smaller to fit someone else's distorted vision. Each morning I'd wake up rehearsing new ways to make it work, convinced that enough love could transform toxicity into healing. Now I understand that staying wasn't strength - it was a slow surrender of self, disguised as loyalty. I share this now because I recognize that same determined desperation in others' eyes, that familiar urge to keep swimming even as you're running out of air.