Dear Someone: Do you really think that God would create you with a heart like that and not create someone with a heart that could love you in the same way?

Read this if you've been pouring yourself into empty vessels and wondering if maybe you're the one who's broken.

Dear, Dear Someone, _

I know what it's like to wonder if your heart is too much. To sit in the aftermath of another goodbye and think maybe the problem isn't them—maybe it's you. Maybe you love too hard. Maybe you feel too deeply. Maybe you were built with a heart that doesn't know how to love in moderation, and maybe that's why everyone eventually walks away. I know what it's like to stare at your reflection and wonder if God made a mistake when He gave you a heart that refuses to love halfway.

You've probably heard it before. Too intense. Too emotional. Too much. As if love could ever be measured in teaspoons. As if the ability to feel deeply is something to be cured rather than cherished. You've watched others love casually, date carelessly, move on effortlessly, and you've wondered why your heart doesn't come with an off switch. Why every person who enters your life leaves footprints on your soul. Why goodbye always feels like grief.

Maybe you've tried to change. Maybe you've practiced loving less. Caring less. Feeling less. Maybe you've built walls around your heart and called it wisdom. Maybe you've learned to swallow your words before they sound too honest, too raw, too real. Maybe you've become an expert at pretending you don't care as much as you do. But late at night, when no one else is watching, your heart still aches with all the love it's not allowed to give.

I think about the way you love. The way you remember small details about people who've forgotten your name. The way you hold space for others' pain even when your own heart is breaking. The way you show up, again and again, for people who only call when they need something. The way you pour yourself out like water, hoping that maybe this time, someone will think to refill you.

And I think about all the times you've been told it's too much. All the times someone has taken your love and called it suffocating. All the times your care has been labeled as neediness. All the times your depth has been dismissed as drama. I think about how many times you've apologized for having feelings. For caring. For being unable to love someone just a little bit.

You've probably wondered if you're defective. If everyone else got the manual on how to love normally and you're out here trying to figure it out with a heart that only knows how to love like a wildfire. You've probably looked at your history of relationships--romantic, platonic, familial--and seen a pattern of you giving everything and others giving what's convenient. And you've probably concluded that the common denominator is you.

But what if the common denominator isn't that you're broken? What if it's that you've been offering your heart to people who were never equipped to hold it? What if you've been pouring your love into cracked vessels and blaming yourself when it leaks through? What if the problem isn't your heart at all--but the hands you've been placing it in?

I want to tell you something, and I need you to let it sink past all the voices that have told you otherwise. Your heart is not too much. Your capacity to love deeply is not a design flaw. Your ability to feel everything is not a weakness. You were created with a heart that loves like the sun--constantly, warmly, without condition. And just because some people prefer the shade doesn't mean the sun should apologize for shining.

Think about it. Do you really think the God who painted sunsets and carved oceans would create a heart capable of such profound love and then forget to create someone who could receive it? Do you really think He would give you a heart that loves like a symphony and surround you only with people who prefer silence? Do you really think your capacity for connection is a cosmic accident?

The truth is harder than that. The truth is that not everyone is built for deep water. Not everyone has done the work to swim in the depths of real intimacy. Not everyone has healed enough to receive love without suspicion. Not everyone has learned that love isn't something to be managed or measured but something to be marveled at. And that's not your fault.

You've been trying to make yourself smaller to fit into spaces that were never meant for you. You've been dimming your light so others won't have to squint. You've been apologizing for the very thing that makes you extraordinary--your ability to love without reservation, without calculation, without keeping score.

But here's what I know about hearts like yours. They're rare. In a world that's taught itself to love with one foot out the door, hearts that know how to stay are revolutionary. In a culture that treats feelings like inconveniences, hearts that feel everything are acts of rebellion. In a society that's monetized connection and commodified intimacy, hearts that love freely are miracles.

Your heart is not broken. It's breaking open. Every person who couldn't handle your depth has carved out more space for the right person to fill. Every relationship that ended because you "felt too much" has taught you that feeling deeply is non-negotiable for you. Every time someone has walked away from your love, they've cleared the path for someone who will walk toward it.

I know it doesn't feel that way right now. Right now it feels like you're standing in a world full of people who speak a different language of love than you do. It feels like you're offering gold and everyone wants plastic. It feels like you're a novel in a world that only reads headlines. And maybe you're tired. Maybe you're wondering if it would be easier to just learn to love less.

But what would the world lose if you did? What would happen to all the people who need someone to love them when they can't love themselves? What would happen to all the friends who need someone to remember their struggles when everyone else has moved on? What would happen to all the moments that need someone to feel them fully? What would happen to all the beauty that needs someone to witness it?

The world needs hearts like yours. Hearts that don't know how to love halfway. Hearts that show up even when it's inconvenient. Hearts that stay when everyone else leaves. Hearts that feel everything and somehow find the strength to feel it all again tomorrow. The world needs people who refuse to apologize for their depth.

And somewhere in this world, there is someone who has been praying for a heart exactly like yours. Someone who has been loved in percentages their whole life and is desperate to know what it feels like to be loved completely. Someone who has been searching for a person who won't run when things get real. Someone who needs your exact brand of too-much love.

They're out there. I promise you they're out there. Not because you need someone else to validate your way of loving, but because God doesn't create hearts in isolation. Every capacity to give is matched somewhere by a capacity to receive. Every deep well of love has a corresponding thirst. Every heart that loves like yours does has someone, somewhere, who has been waiting their whole life to be loved exactly that way.

So please, don't change. Don't learn to love less. Don't build higher walls. Don't mistake other people's inability to receive for your failure to give properly. Don't let a world that's afraid of intimacy convince you that your courage to connect is a liability. Don't let hearts that are still healing make you think your wholeness is wrong.

Your heart is not too much. Your heart is exactly enough. Your heart is precisely what someone has been praying for. Your heart is evidence that God still believes in love without limits. Your heart is proof that some things are worth feeling fully, even when it hurts. Your heart is exactly as it should be.

The question was never whether you love too much. The question was whether you've been offering that love to people who have the capacity to treasure it. The question was whether you've been trying to force your heart into spaces too small to hold it. The question was whether you've been apologizing for the very thing that makes you magnificent.

Stop apologizing. Stop shrinking. Stop pretending you care less than you do. The world has enough people who love carefully. What it needs is more people who love bravely. What it needs is more hearts like yours--hearts that refuse to be tamed, hearts that insist on feeling everything, hearts that would rather break than become bitter.

Your person is coming. The one whose heart speaks the same language as yours. The one who won't ask you to love less but will ask you to teach them to love more. The one who will see your depth and dive in rather than run away. The one who will finally make you understand why it never worked with anyone else.

Until then, keep loving the way you do. Keep feeling everything. Keep showing up with your whole heart, even when it's scary. Keep being the person who loves too much in a world that loves too little. Keep being too much for the wrong people so you can be exactly enough for the right one.

Your heart is not a burden. Your heart is a gift. And someday, someone is going to unwrap it and wonder how they got so lucky. Someday, someone is going to receive your love and finally show you what it feels like to be chosen, cherished, and celebrated for exactly who you are. Someday, your too-much heart is going to be someone's answered prayer.

So no, I don't think God would create you with a heart like that and not create someone with a heart that could love you the same way. I think He created you with that heart because somewhere, someone needs exactly the kind of love only you can give. And I think He created them with a heart that's been waiting its whole life to find yours.

Keep shining, dear heart. Your person is looking for your light.

—Ali Papa.

Author of Letters of Woe​ and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter​
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer

P.S. — You don't need to apologize for how deeply you feel anymore. You don't need to make yourself smaller or easier to love. The right person won't need you to be anything other than exactly who you are. Until they arrive, practice being gentle with your beautiful, brave, too-much heart. It's carried you this far. It won't fail you now.

P.S.S. — If these words found a home in your heart, there are more letters waiting for you in Unfair: A Compendium of Letters to the Wounded, the Weary, and the Wondering. For all the nights when your heart feels too heavy and your questions too loud, let these letters sit with you.

P.S.S.S. — If you’re still searching for your reflection in these words, if you’re feeling unseen or unheard, don’t worry—your unspoken words matter more than you know. Let me write you a personal letter - one that speaks directly to your heart. Click here and share your story with me. In the quiet space between your words and my understanding, we'll create something sacred together. Each letter is crafted with care, written just for you, and completely FREE.

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