Dear Someone: Your vulnerability isn't a mistake - it's evidence of your magnificent heart.
Read this if you're feeling ashamed for showing your feelings, if society's dating rules made you doubt your authenticity, if you're questioning whether being brave enough to love openly was a mistake
Dear, Dear Someone, _
There's a special kind of ache that comes from putting your heart on display only to have it met with silence. Society's arbitrary rules about who should chase whom have made you question your worth, but let me tell you something: your courage to love authentically isn't a mistake - it's a masterpiece.
Love doesn't follow rulebooks or conform to societal expectations. It flows like water, finding its own path, creating its own rhythm. Your decision to express your feelings wasn't a failure - it was an act of extraordinary bravery in a world that often tells us to play small and safe.
The pain you're feeling isn't just about rejection - it's about the vulnerability hangover that comes after showing your deepest self. But vulnerability isn't weakness; it's the purest form of strength. You dared to be real in a world of carefully curated personas.
Those long paragraphs you wrote weren't desperate - they were honest. They were the voice of your heart speaking its truth, unfiltered and unafraid. Don't let anyone make you feel small for having a heart big enough to express itself fully.
Your worth isn't determined by someone else's response or lack thereof. Their silence speaks volumes about their capacity, not your value. You showed up fully, authentically, magnificently - and that's something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
The world needs more people willing to break the artificial rules of engagement. More hearts brave enough to speak their truth. More souls courageous enough to choose authenticity over games. You're not an idiot - you're a pioneer.
Let's reframe this narrative: You didn't "chase" - you pursued what your heart wanted with clarity and courage. You didn't "fuck up" - you showed up. The only real mistake would have been denying your truth to fit someone else's expectations.
This pain you're feeling? It's not punishment for being too much - it's proof that you're alive, that you're capable of deep feeling, that you're brave enough to risk your heart for what it wants. These are qualities to celebrate, not regret.
The wisdom you've gained isn't about learning to be less - it's about understanding that the right person won't make you question the authenticity of your approach. They'll match your courage with their own.
Your heart's capacity to express itself isn't gender-specific. The rules that say women shouldn't chase or express themselves freely are outdated constructs that have no place in authentic connection.
Each word you wrote came from a place of truth. Each feeling you expressed was valid. Each moment of vulnerability was a gift - one that the recipient wasn't ready to appreciate. That's their loss, not your failure.
Remember that being "wiser now" doesn't mean closing yourself off. It means loving yourself enough to know that your expression of feelings is beautiful, regardless of the response it receives.
The next time your heart wants to speak, let it. The next time you feel deeply, express it. The next time you want to reach out, do it. Just do it for yourself first, knowing that your truth is worthy of expression.
Your bravery in love sets an example for others trapped in the prison of "supposed to." You showed that authenticity knows no gender, that courage knows no rules, that love knows no bounds.
This moment of pain will pass, but don't let it take your beautiful capacity for openness with it. You're not just a little wiser now - you're a lot braver for having dared to be real.
With admiration for your courage,
—Ali Papa.
Author of Letters of Woe​ and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter​
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer
P.S. — Years from now, you'll understand that this moment wasn't about failure - it was about freedom. Freedom from the constraints of gender roles in love, freedom from the fear of being too much, freedom to be authentically yourself. The right person won't make you regret your paragraphs - they'll write their own in return. Trust that your capacity to love openly isn't a flaw to fix but a gift to cherish. Your heart isn't too much - it's just waiting for someone brave enough to match its magnitude.
P.S.S. — If you’re still searching for your reflection in these words, if you’re feeling unseen or unheard, don’t worry—your unspoken words matter more than you know. Let me write you a personal letter - one that speaks directly to your heart. Click here and share your story with me. In the quiet space between your words and my understanding, we'll create something sacred together. Each letter is crafted with care, written just for you, and completely FREE.
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