Dear Someone: The love you gave wasn't a mistake – it was a beautiful truth, even if they couldn't hold it.
Read this if you're struggling with the weight of regret, if you've loved someone with your whole heart and now question whether it was worth the pain.
Dear, Dear Someone, _
Regret is such a heavy word, isn’t it? It presses on your chest, steals your breath, and whispers cruel questions: What if you had never met them? What if you had never loved them? What if you had kept your heart safe, untouched, unbroken? But regret, as loud as it may scream, can never erase the truth of what was – the laughter, the love, the moments that felt like forever.
You don’t regret the way their arms felt around you, do you? You don’t regret how your heart soared during those long, wild nights of laughter, of dreaming, of imagining a future so vivid it felt like destiny. You don’t regret the way you poured your love into them, how their presence felt like home, even if that home was only a temporary shelter.
What you regret is meeting them. Meeting them and believing they were the one who would hold your heart with the care it deserved. Meeting them and thinking they saw the same magic in you that you saw in them. Meeting them and trusting that this love – your love – could be enough to make them stay.
But here’s what I want to tell you: your love wasn’t the mistake, dear one. Loving them wasn’t the mistake. The way you gave, the way you opened yourself up, the way you let them see the parts of you that no one else had seen – that wasn’t a mistake. That was bravery. That was beauty. That was the truth of who you are.
And yes, maybe they didn’t deserve it. Maybe they couldn’t hold it. Maybe they couldn’t see the depth of what you offered or the light you carried. But that says everything about their readiness and nothing about your worth.
You loved with your whole heart. You dreamed with open hands. You gave without hesitation. And perhaps they didn’t stay, but that doesn’t mean your love was wasted. Love is never wasted. It leaves traces in the world, in you, in the people who receive it – even if they don’t know what to do with it.
I know it hurts. I know it feels like the love you gave should have been returned, doubled, cherished. And I know that now, in the aftermath, it feels like regret is the only thing left to hold. But regret isn’t the final chapter. It’s just the bridge between loss and learning, between heartbreak and healing.
Because here’s the truth: you didn’t lose yourself in them. You found pieces of yourself you didn’t know existed. You uncovered your capacity to love so deeply, to dream so vividly, to hope so fiercely. And even though it ended, even though it hurts, those parts of you – the lover, the dreamer, the giver – are still here. They are still you.
You see, regret wants to tell you that meeting them was a mistake. But what if meeting them was a lesson? What if meeting them was the universe’s way of teaching you about your own heart – its strength, its beauty, its resilience? What if meeting them wasn’t about forever, but about preparing you for the love that will be?
You can mourn the loss without regretting the love. You can grieve what might have been without erasing the beauty of what was. You can let go of them without letting go of the parts of yourself that came alive in their presence.
Because you are still that person, dear one. You are still the person who dreamed of forever, who gave without fear, who loved without limits. And that person – that you – is worth celebrating, not regretting.
So, let the regret flow if it must. Let the pain wash over you, let the tears fall, let the grief take its course. But don’t let regret rewrite your story. Don’t let it tell you that loving them was a mistake. It wasn’t. It was a part of your journey, a chapter in your story, a step on the path to the love you truly deserve.
And one day, you’ll look back not with regret, but with gratitude. Gratitude for the lessons, for the growth, for the way this love – even in its ending – taught you more about yourself than you ever thought possible.
With love and reminders of your worth,
—Ali Papa.
Author of Letters of Woe and an ever-growing library of books
Conveyor of the Vistas of Hope Newsletter
Shepherd of Wayward Wanderer
P.S. — Years from now, you’ll realize that meeting them wasn’t the end of your story – it was the beginning of your transformation. You’ll understand that their inability to hold your love wasn’t a reflection of your value, but of their readiness. Trust that the love you gave wasn’t wasted. Trust that your capacity to love deeply isn’t your weakness, but your strength. And trust that the right person will see your heart, not as something to take for granted, but as something to treasure.
P.S.S. — If these words are holding your heart right now, if you're struggling with the weight of regret, if you've loved someone with your whole heart and now question whether it was worth the pain, there's more healing waiting in Letters of Jaanai - a companion for your journey of self-forgiveness. Learn how to honor your love without letting regret overshadow it.
P.S.S.S. — If you’re still searching for your reflection in these words, if you’re feeling unseen or unheard, don’t worry—your unspoken words matter more than you know. Let me write you a personal letter - one that speaks directly to your heart. Click here and share your story with me. In the quiet space between your words and my understanding, we'll create something sacred together. Each letter is crafted with care, written just for you, and completely FREE.
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